Month: January 2013

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Poverty

Abundance has been much maligned. Matthew 19:24 claims that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God. Members of some religious orders take vows of poverty. It is also said that money is the root of all evil. It is true that money motivates criminals and corporate greed. It sees exploitation and murder. But there is another side to money. It can open a wellness centre or help those in desperate need of charity. It lets you fly overseas to attend a meditation retreat. Money brings a sense of security. It grants the freedom to live how you want. It removes the worry over paying bills and putting food on the table. It lets you live without debt. I have lived in poverty. It is a horrible, stressful, unhappy place. There is nothing spiritual about poverty. Use it instead as a motivation to strive for something extraordinary.

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A Work-Life Balance

I used to be a primary teacher. I began by working a five day week. I wondered why I was tired, grumpy and stressed by Thursday. On Monday I was already praying for Friday. Work gives focus and purpose. It is how we pay bills and maintain a standard of living. It is how we save for the future and afford life’s experiences. But wellbeing should be a goal too.

 Weekdays are long. People often tell me they can’t find the time to exercise, meditate or eat well. Even those versed in the wellbeing industry. A weekend is not really two days of rest and relaxation. It is a whirlwind of activity. On Saturday shopping, errands and projects are done. Saturday nights are often for catching up with friends. There might be time Sunday morning and early afternoon but maybe this is spent on more projects and errands. Late Sunday afternoons and nights are used thinking of and preparing for Monday. It is even more hectic for those with children. Where is the time for You?

 I was a relief teacher and could pick my own days. I soon changed to a four day week. I know this is not an option for most people. But if an opportunity arises to work less take it. Or change to part time. It is worth it. It’s an investment in your health and happiness. Life is to be lived now. Don’t wait for retirement. You will not reflect on the hours in the office but on how well you lived. Imagine a long weekend every weekend. Take part of the day to exercise, meditate, rest. To pursue goals and reflect. Walk in the park. Attune to nature. Then you can go fishing, shopping or to the pub.

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Three Wellbeing Keys

Wellbeing is an achievable state. It is a place of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. It’s where you conduct successful relationships, are productive and happy. When you are happy you can live better, love more and play harder. There are many great wellbeing tools. Here are three essentials:

Meditation

Most people are stressed. Stress blocks passion and inspiration. It puts people out of balance and promotes anger and impatience. Meditation is one of the best tools to manage stress. It heals the mind and body. It safeguards mental health. It promotes rest and inner peace. It helps to develop creativity, insight and clarity. It rejuvenates the spirit. I find breath meditation, mindfulness and Rayid meditation to be effective.

  • Breath Meditation

Lack of rest and sleep cause stress. People tend to work themselves to exhaustion and are in desperate need of rest. Imagine you have internal batteries. If they are not recharged then they burn out. The internal batteries are only recharged when the mind is in alpha state. Alpha is a lower, more relaxed and creative state. In alpha state the mind calms. The body begins to self heal and regenerate the nervous system, organs and cells. Sleep will not recharge internal batteries fully as the mind cycles between alpha, theta and delta states.

The mind is in beta state when the eyes are open. Closing the eyes automatically puts the mind into alpha state. The best way to get the rest you need is to close the eyes and lie still for 20 minutes. I have found less than 20 minutes is not as effective. While meditating you will find the mind races. This is ok and normal. Meditation is an art. It takes years to train the mind. Instead give the mind another focus. Concentrate on breathing through the solar plexus. When your mind begins to race bring your focus back to the breath.

  • Mindfulness

Mindfulness is a simple but effective tool. It helps relax the mind and to bring your focus into the Now. Go to the park, beach or into the backyard. Concentrate on nature. By focussing on nature you leave your concerns behind. Listen to birdsong, the sound of waves crashing or the whisper of wind in the trees. Feel the sunlight on your skin or watch the clouds float by. Do this for as long as you like.

  • Rayid Meditation

Denny Johnson taught me Rayid in 2000 and I have used it every day since. Rayid meditation helps to increase the flow of divine light. It connects you to infinite wells of feeling. I use Rayid to access inner peace when stressed but there are many more vibrations. According to Rayid there are six primary energy centres (chakras). Each of these centres has a yin (passive, night, stillness) and a yang (active, day, heat) side. This makes 12 meditation positions. Each meditation point has a different vibration or gift. The names of each point relate to Rayid Birth Order.

          Yin Vibrations

The first of these points is One Boy. This is the vibration of freedom, adventure, fun, inspiration, imagination and humility.

Two Girl is enchantment, inner peace, calm, ease, mystery.

Three Boy is clarity, insight, strategy, intelligence, cleverness, social awareness.

Four Girl is non-judgement, change, letting go, dissolving negativity, releasing, tenderness, unconditional love, allowing and acceptance.

Five Boy is connecting to your genius, artistry, perfection, kindness.

Six Girl is purity, unity (to the divine), silence, bliss.

 

          Yang Vibrations

One Girl is the vibration of inner strength, groundedness, endurance, care of the family, the mineral kingdom.

Two Boy is the essence of the martial arts warrior, courage, boldness, passion, purpose, success, direction.

Three girl is health (mental, emotional and physical), wisdom, balance, nature, harmony, justice, nurturing.

Four Boy is prosperity, nobility, wealth, celebration, friendship, brotherhood, joy, laughter, alliances, charisma.

Five Girl is compassion (for yourself and others), love of all animals, vitality, service to the world.

Six Boy is command, leadership, the general, power of the spoken word.

The trick to Rayid is to meditate in the body at each of the points. The cells, tissue, organs and muscle store the feeling. Because the feelings are internalised it raises your vibration.

 

Exercise

Endorphins are released during exercise. So is adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine These work to boost mood and even act as natural pain-killers. I find exercise washes away stress and stimulates vitality. Cardio is more effective than anaerobic for this. So going for a run, walk or swim is better than weights. A run is an amazing hang-over cure. It is recommended to do about 30 min a day of cardio. I run 4-5 days a week. Weights are great for strength, sculpting the body and promoting a positive body image. I work a body part a day for around 40 min.

 

Diet

A good diet fuels the body and keeps it healthy. This in turn keeps the mind healthy and it is well known that there is a link between the gut and the brain. I have a Monday to Friday rule. I am strict on this rule and during the week cut out fat and sugar. Sugar has been linked to depression. I drink water and eat lots of fruit and vege. My main meal always has a protein which is usually a lean meat. I add a carbohydrate such as rice or pasta for energy. I also take supplements. When exercising I use a whey protein that contains BCAAs. Muscles need this for growth and recovery. I also take creatine to help in explosive movements and high intensity training. I take fish oils for brain functioning and B vitamins for mood. I use alpha lipoic as an antioxidant. I take vitamin C for my immune system and for its antioxidant effect.

On Saturdays I indulge. This is my reward day but I know my limits. By following this rule and combining it with exercise I lost 16 kg.

 

Wellbeing is a fantastic state. It inspires confidence and helps to put you at the top of your game. Meditation, exercise and diet are three keys in this process. Wellbeing takes time and discipline but you will feel great. Then you will be ready to take on the world –and more.

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Relationship Killers

These are ways to kill a relationship:

1)      Not communicating. The inability to talk about issues or discuss feelings leads to simmering resentment. Issues fester and people become more and more discontent. It is important to speak your truth in relationships and communicate exactly how you feel. If something hurts or annoys you then talk about it. If you are unhappy bring it up.

Issues will arise in any relationship no matter who you are with. You have to be prepared to work through them. Speaking your truth can initially be difficult but don’t be afraid. Talking about issues can heal a relationship. Communication means broaching issues maturely and calmly. Not shouting or arguing.

2)      Too much time together. You revolve your life around your partner and do everything together. It’s called co-dependence and is so unattractive. You will begin to take each other for granted and the spark will die. It is integral to have your own life, friends and interests.

3)      Too much time apart. Relationships are a balancing act. Just as too much time together is destructive so is too much time apart. A relationship is like a flower. It needs nurturing. If you are away a lot then plan to have special time together.

4)      Neglecting friends. If you disappear when in a relationship your friends will resent you. There is an old saying that partners may come and go but friends are forever. Friends support you and make you laugh. Make time for your friends. And unless it’s a couple’s night don’t bring your partner.

5)      Neediness. Don’t look for someone to fill your need for love or affection. Practice self-love before beginning a relationship. Be comfortable with who you are. Enjoy your own company. When you love yourself then a partner will actually love you even more.

6)      Being a submissive male. Men need to be masculine. This means being assertive, decisive and strong in relationships. Being unable to stand up for yourself and always deferring to your partner is a turn-off. It’s boring and she will not respect you. There are times when you need to put yourself first and do what is important for you. You need to have clear boundaries and to assert them. Being masculine doesn’t mean sacrificing kindness and affection though. These qualities are just integrated.

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Soul Lessons

Soul lessons are the primary reason we incarnate. Lessons range from relationships to family dynamics. Speaking your truth and facing your fears are lessons. Patience, freedom and passion are lessons. It is vital to make your lessons conscious for one reason. With consciousness you can actually learn your lessons. Once lessons are fully learnt then they stop repeating. And repeating.

Yet 99% of people don’t realise this. Without consciousness people are stuck in unhappy and dysfunctional patterns. They wonder why life just isn’t working out. They never push their boundaries and remain unfulfilled. Potential is wasted. Dreams unrealised. Relationships are based on pain and betrayal. Work is done solely for a wage. People slave for retirement. And by then life has almost passed them by.

Being conscious means going inwards and establishing a dialogue with your inner self. It means connecting with something greater. It is aligning with your higher purpose and realising your goals. Meditation is one of the tools for going inwards. Then the trick is to identify your lessons. Life perfectly reflects your lessons. Mostly lessons mean doing the opposite of any negative feeling. If you are stuck behind a slow car or in a long queue then you’re learning patience. If people take advantage of you or treat you badly then you’re learning how to establish boundaries and to be assertive. If you find yourself constantly angry by life’s circumstances then it’s time to learn calm. Instead of suppressing how you feel, express it. If you’re depressed then you’re learning to find passion, purpose and happiness.

There are major lessons and minor lessons. These vary for all of us. My major lessons were the courage to speak my truth, assert myself and push my boundaries. I experienced betrayal. I was fiery and had to learn to calm my emotions. I had to learn about masculinity and patience. I have experienced deep poverty and had to learn about success and prosperity.

Leaning soul lessons should be your paramount objective. They are why you’re born. They are more important than what house you buy, what car you drive and how much you have in the bank. Consciousness helps you to identify your lessons. You have to go through them and over time surpass them. Then you graduate. Now you are free to begin dissolving your Shadow. But that is a different story.