This blog is an accumulation of my insights and experiences on spirituality, wellbeing and relationships over many years. It is intended for anyone but especially men. Hope you enjoy!
Authentic Self
My meditation teacher told me long ago that it was essential to speak your truth all the time. I remember thinking that this would be impossible, that lies were just a facet of everyday existence. Everyone lies, I thought. And what’s wrong with white lies? Surely you don’t want to hurt another’s feelings. I continued to lie but the lesson stayed with me. I meditate every day, sometimes for hours, and as my consciousness expanded, I felt an inner urging to be my authentic self. My teacher’s words echoed with the urging. I realised there was no way I could be authentic whilst still lying.
And so began the journey. And it wasn’t easy. We have been programmed to lie and there are many reasons we lie. Obviously people lie to deceive. Sometimes we lie to appease, sometimes to avoid confrontation, sometimes to protect our reputations. We white lie to so as not to hurt feelings. Even exaggerating is lying. Whatever the reason, if you become aware of lies you will find that you lie a lot of the time.
One of the first steps in becoming your authentic self is to be aware of when you lie. Try then to tell the truth the best you can. The perfect place to start is with your partner. Hide nothing because the truth will always be revealed at some stage. Be honest with your feelings, your triggers, and your behaviours. Then try to incorporate this with family, then friends, then the wider community.
Accessing the vibration of the authentic self makes the process easier. The authentic self is associated with the fifth chakra in the left hand side of the throat. Meditate inside your throat at this point to access the energy of the authentic self which will make it easier to speak the truth.
In being truthful, you align with higher consciousness and remove the masks to reveal your true self. You grow in integrity and personal power. This does not mean you have to defend your views and impose your truth onto others. But if asked your opinion try to answer honestly, even if you know the other person will disagree with you, even attack you. And yes, even if the results appear detrimental. I had to leave a long term job because I spoke my truth. But in doing so I realised that a job that didn’t allow me to be true to my self was not in my best interest. Now I’m teaching meditation, reading chakras and writing about my insights along the way. By far a better career and in alignment with my higher purpose.
My teacher was right all those years ago. Being authentic is a milestone on the road to higher consciousness and integrity. Telling the truth, your truth, helps you to remove your masks and align with your higher self and the divine. Take small steps and gradually you’ll get there. It’s not easy but it’s worth it.
Education
Record numbers of children are dropping out of school. This is attributed to a range of factors. One publication blames the severe lockdowns over the covid period where children are struggling to readjust to full-time study. Another focuses on lack of academic achievement. Then there are emotional and mental issues. Some of these reasons have validity, others do not. Of the relevant factors, the questions must be asked: why is there a lack of achievement? Why are there emotional and mental health issues?
One study hits the nail on the head. Nearly half of the students reported dropping out due to uninteresting classes (Bridgeland et al., 2006, p. iii). Children are just not being engaged. I spent 6 years in the education system working as a casual relief teacher. In this capacity I encountered children from a host of schools and a host of ages. I noticed many things. I saw children enter the system with imagination and a sense of adventure and leave devoid of fun and life. I saw a brilliant artist in tears because she couldn’t do maths. I saw children who were disruptive labelled as having ADHD but were mostly agitated because they were bored. Some children were so disengaged that they simply refused to do the work. Also I remember my own schooling. I remember suicidal thoughts in my final year of school due to the pressure of exams and assignments. I remember getting in trouble for not doing homework. I remember avoiding school because I was being left behind.
Somehow I got through and I became a teacher because I wanted to inspire children. When I left teaching I had come to the conclusion that the current education system breeds mediocrity and is a waste of time that only serves to crush the spirit. I wonder how much of this is on purpose. The system drains children and I am reminded of the Rockefeller desire for nation of workers not thinkers. Whatever the reason, something has to change. Education needs to be overhauled.
The school of the future will be radically different. What the current system does not acknowledge is that all children are capable of genius. Genius flourishes when children are engaged by what they love. Rather than a sterile curriculum, guide children toward self directed learning where children learn what interests them at their own pace and without the need to be constantly assessed. When a child is engaged there is a passion to learn.
Imagine children delving into subjects that excite them. Imagine sports fanatics learning about the rules of the game, playing the game and filming the game, learning about how to negotiate contracts, researching their favourite players. Then being able to play the game whenever they felt like it. Or writers researching favourite authors, being able to sit outside in the sun watching clouds while letting their imaginations run wild or learning how to attract agents and get published. Or artists being able to paint and draw all day and visit galleries to view the original works of their favourite artists. The possibilities are endless.
The school of the future not only lets children engage with their passions, it will have parents doing inner work. Most people are ignorant of their true power. Inner work is necessary to access this power. Everything a person needs to know for their evolution comes from within. All gifts and talents come from within. Parents will access inner gifts by processing their shadows, clearing their chakras and allowing the flow of divine energy into themselves and the family. This divine energy is the signature of the soul and embodies the soul’s uniqueness. It is a soul’s true power.
Something has to change in the current system if children are to be inspired to learn. Self directed learning where children research passions at their own pace is the first step. Realising that everything people need comes from within is the next step. Parents work to together to release their soul’s power and with it innate gifts and talents of both themselves and their children. If families adopt these two steps then there will be no need for children to sit in a boring classroom hour upon hour, being dictated to by an authority figure and learning subjects that have no relevance. Instead there will be a society of empowered, conscious, passionate children wielding their genius to cure this world. And what a wonderful legacy that would be.
References
Bridgeland, M, Dilulio, J & Morison, K 2006, The Silent Epidemic: Perspectives of High School Dropouts, Gates Foundation, viewed 6 April 2025, https://docs.gatesfoundation.org.
Soul Mates
Every relationship is an important learning experience. Look at the experience as moulding you. You learn what you like in a relationship and what you don’t. You learn what works for you and what doesn’t. You learn what upsets you and what makes you happy.
Then there comes a time that a soul has experienced all the learning it needs. This is indicated when a person is alone for a long time and relationships just have a habit of not working out. Or if in a relationship it is common for one person to start pushing the other person away and rejecting them. Rejection can come from angry outbursts, being cheated on, withdrawl of affection and intimacy, one partner creating distance and so on.
If this occurs, it is important for the person being rejected to let go and not hold on to the relationship. Being rejected is actually a subconscious parting and it has a metaphysical origin. It is the Universe informing you that it is time to move on. Your soul may need some time before another relationship or it could be the time for the ultimate relationship: soul mate relationships.
Soul mates are the twin halves of a single soul. Once during a meditation I was shown that the soul exists in a yin and yang like relationship in the Divine. When a soul incarnates, the soul then splits in two. Usually one half of the soul incarnates before the other and when both halves have incarnated, it is a couple’s task to find their soul mate whilst on earth.
This is not always an easy process. How do you know when you meet your soul mate? There are certain markers. Intense attraction is one. ‘I just know’ is another. Unfortunately though these feelings are often misconstrued and I know of couples getting married based on these feelings only to have the attraction fade and intimacy wane, leading to the end of the relationship.
There is one marker that is the truest indication that a couple are soul mates: soul mates share the same chakras. Shared chakras only ever happen between soul mates and in no other relationships. This is because your soul mate is literally your other half, the twin to your soul. Meditation and inner work open chakras. Meditation between soul mates facilitates a flow of energy from chakra to chakra and from heart to heart. When a chakra to chakra connection is made then soul mates begin to return to the divine union from where they originated and they will look upon each other as simply magical. They will have eyes only for each other and will never want another.
This sounds idyllic and it is. Conscious soul mate relationships provide everything you could ever want out of a partner. But what if you’re not in a soul mate relationship? If your soul experiences the longing for its other half but you have no idea where to begin, don’t despair. The first thing to realise is that there is someone for everyone. Truly. Sometimes this realisation alone is enough to begin pulling your soul mate into your orbit. Then there is meditation. Meditation imbues your quest for your soul mate with consciousness. It is the call to the Universe to reunite the halves of your soul.
My mother and sister used meditation to find their soul mates. Mum was working in a store long ago. She was single and unhappy. A man would come into the store and she was highly attracted to him. She got to know him and found that over the months the attraction grew. He ticked every box on her checklist. She never pursued anything in her place of work because she thought that a man so wonderful would definitely be taken.
So she did a Wayne Dyer meditation for manifesting. She pictured the man from the store as a prototype and put this image out into the Universe. Then she wrote an ad in the singles section of a newspaper (this being before online dating). Guess who was the very first man to answer the ad? Yes, it was the man from the store. They soon married and like all good fairy tales lived happily ever after. Similarly, my sister meditated on her perfect partner and manifested him after a few months.
Meditation is a powerful tool. Learn from your relationships and when your soul is ready use meditation to manifest your soul mate. There is someone for everyone and your soul mate is the other half of your soul. With a little discipline and dedication you can have the perfect person in your life for the love you desire. It may not come immediately but will arrive in some unforseen way when your soul is ready. And when that person is in your life, meditation opens the chakras to achieve a flow of happiness, love and wonder that is only achieved by a soul mate reunion.
Being Rejected
Being Rejected
I call this Rejection Principle. I have seen it happen over and over. It begins when there is a sense that there is something wrong in the relationship. There are definite break-up signs. It’s a change in pattern. A lack of intimacy or affection where there used to be an abundance. Constant calls and texts become less and less frequent. Your partner spends more time away and makes excuses not to see you. This is the start of Rejection.
Usually there is a person rejecting and a person rejected. The rejector has made the decision that the relationship is over. Both know the relationship is over on some level but there is usually one who initiates the break-up. The person rejecting is mostly ok. It’s the rejected who experiences the pain.
It’s not that the person rejecting is that great. Usually they’re not. It’s actually the pain of being rejected that hurts the most. Most think this pain is love for their former partner. But it’s rejection, not love. This phenomenon is similar to misattribution of arousal in psychology. This is where people mistakenly label what is causing them to feel aroused. Love is not painful.
It is tempting to remember only the good times. To think what you had was so great. Think about it though. For a relationship to end it must have become lousy. Both were unhappy. Most of the time things were not going well towards the end. It is important to remember this. Yet much of the time the rejected will do anything to get their ex back.
The drive to get your ex back is to re-establish the feeling of being wanted and loved. It is to prove you can win your ex again. But even if you got your ex back then things would revert to being mediocre and unsatisfying. If a relationship ends then it is usually for a good reason. You both know it’s no longer working. And you have known this for a while.
You have to be rational in a break-up. As hard as this is. Override the emotions. Your emotions will make you crazy. You send 30 texts a day. You worry that your ex is out at bars looking for a new partner. You drive past your ex’s place at 3 am to see if there is another car out the front. You imagine your ex having sex with a stranger. You may even verge on becoming a stalker.
Your desperation will push your ex further away. So don’t call, don’t text, don’t chase. Let your ex know what it is to miss you. Walk away. Don’t force a failing relationship. Let it go and learn from it. Live a rich life. Rediscover friendships. Enjoy your own company. Meditate and connect inwardly. Love yourself and increase your self-esteem. This will make you more attractive. Then find someone who will love you again. Preferably your soul mate.
Clock-in Calls
I don’t like clock-in calls. These calls are made to your partner when you don’t have anything to say. They are just to hear your partner’s voice. Sometimes they are made several times a day. You know it’s a clock-in call when the conversation comes quiet. Or you make small talk. Or you struggle to think of what to say. Clock-in calls are a sign of insecurity. Treat a relationship as you would a friendship. A call once a day is cool. Or if you have something important to say. Or you need to clarify something. Don’t call if your partner is out with friends and you want to check in.
Dreams
Dreams are an idea of where you want to be in life. Some dream of being an actor, musician or artist. Most dream of success. But dreams don’t just happen. Dreams are a craft. To master your craft requires years of dedication and perseverance. It takes discipline and much practice. A dream is also a goal. You have to set realistic steps to achieve it. Dream of Hollywood but start with small productions. Extras work. Ads. Sometimes do things for free. This is to get a foot in your industry and gain experience and connections.
Pursue your dreams with fierce devotion. Dream big. Don’t resign to the mediocre. A dream realised is the stuff of fairytale. Take the small steps and over time you will achieve your goals. Sometimes you will have to step out of your comfort zone. The risk is worth it.
Poverty
Abundance has been much maligned. Matthew 19:24 claims that it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God. Members of some religious orders take vows of poverty. It is also said that money is the root of all evil. It is true that money motivates criminals and corporate greed. It sees exploitation and murder. But there is another side to money. It can open a wellness centre or help those in desperate need of charity. It lets you fly overseas to attend a meditation retreat. Money brings a sense of security. It grants the freedom to live how you want. It removes the worry over paying bills and putting food on the table. It lets you live without debt. I have lived in poverty. It is a horrible, stressful, unhappy place. There is nothing spiritual about poverty. Use it instead as a motivation to strive for something extraordinary.
A Work-Life Balance
I used to be a primary teacher. I began by working a five day week. I wondered why I was tired, grumpy and stressed by Thursday. On Monday I was already praying for Friday. Work gives focus and purpose. It is how we pay bills and maintain a standard of living. It is how we save for the future and afford life’s experiences. But wellbeing should be a goal too.
Weekdays are long. People often tell me they can’t find the time to exercise, meditate or eat well. Even those versed in the wellbeing industry. A weekend is not really two days of rest and relaxation. It is a whirlwind of activity. On Saturday shopping, errands and projects are done. Saturday nights are often for catching up with friends. There might be time Sunday morning and early afternoon but maybe this is spent on more projects and errands. Late Sunday afternoons and nights are used thinking of and preparing for Monday. It is even more hectic for those with children. Where is the time for You?
I was a relief teacher and could pick my own days. I soon changed to a four day week. I know this is not an option for most people. But if an opportunity arises to work less take it. Or change to part time. It is worth it. It’s an investment in your health and happiness. Life is to be lived now. Don’t wait for retirement. You will not reflect on the hours in the office but on how well you lived. Imagine a long weekend every weekend. Take part of the day to exercise, meditate, rest. To pursue goals and reflect. Walk in the park. Attune to nature. Then you can go fishing, shopping or to the pub.
Three Wellbeing Keys
Wellbeing is an achievable state. It is a place of mental, physical, emotional and spiritual health. It’s where you conduct successful relationships, are productive and happy. When you are happy you can live better, love more and play harder. There are many great wellbeing tools. Here are three essentials:
Meditation
Most people are stressed. Stress blocks passion and inspiration. It puts people out of balance and promotes anger and impatience. Meditation is one of the best tools to manage stress. It heals the mind and body. It safeguards mental health. It promotes rest and inner peace. It helps to develop creativity, insight and clarity. It rejuvenates the spirit. I find breath meditation, mindfulness and Rayid meditation to be effective.
- Breath Meditation
Lack of rest and sleep cause stress. People tend to work themselves to exhaustion and are in desperate need of rest. Imagine you have internal batteries. If they are not recharged then they burn out. The internal batteries are only recharged when the mind is in alpha state. Alpha is a lower, more relaxed and creative state. In alpha state the mind calms. The body begins to self heal and regenerate the nervous system, organs and cells. Sleep will not recharge internal batteries fully as the mind cycles between alpha, theta and delta states.
The mind is in beta state when the eyes are open. Closing the eyes automatically puts the mind into alpha state. The best way to get the rest you need is to close the eyes and lie still for 20 minutes. I have found less than 20 minutes is not as effective. While meditating you will find the mind races. This is ok and normal. Meditation is an art. It takes years to train the mind. Instead give the mind another focus. Concentrate on breathing through the solar plexus. When your mind begins to race bring your focus back to the breath.
- Mindfulness
Mindfulness is a simple but effective tool. It helps relax the mind and to bring your focus into the Now. Go to the park, beach or into the backyard. Concentrate on nature. By focussing on nature you leave your concerns behind. Listen to birdsong, the sound of waves crashing or the whisper of wind in the trees. Feel the sunlight on your skin or watch the clouds float by. Do this for as long as you like.
- Rayid Meditation
Denny Johnson taught me Rayid in 2000 and I have used it every day since. Rayid meditation helps to increase the flow of divine light. It connects you to infinite wells of feeling. I use Rayid to access inner peace when stressed but there are many more vibrations. According to Rayid there are six primary energy centres (chakras). Each of these centres has a yin (passive, night, stillness) and a yang (active, day, heat) side. This makes 12 meditation positions. Each meditation point has a different vibration or gift. The names of each point relate to Rayid Birth Order.
Yin Vibrations
The first of these points is One Boy. This is the vibration of freedom, adventure, fun, inspiration, imagination and humility.
Two Girl is enchantment, inner peace, calm, ease, mystery.
Three Boy is clarity, insight, strategy, intelligence, cleverness, social awareness.
Four Girl is non-judgement, change, letting go, dissolving negativity, releasing, tenderness, unconditional love, allowing and acceptance.
Five Boy is connecting to your genius, artistry, perfection, kindness.
Six Girl is purity, unity (to the divine), silence, bliss.
Yang Vibrations
One Girl is the vibration of inner strength, groundedness, endurance, care of the family, the mineral kingdom.
Two Boy is the essence of the martial arts warrior, courage, boldness, passion, purpose, success, direction.
Three girl is health (mental, emotional and physical), wisdom, balance, nature, harmony, justice, nurturing.
Four Boy is prosperity, nobility, wealth, celebration, friendship, brotherhood, joy, laughter, alliances, charisma.
Five Girl is compassion (for yourself and others), love of all animals, vitality, service to the world.
Six Boy is command, leadership, the general, power of the spoken word.
The trick to Rayid is to meditate in the body at each of the points. The cells, tissue, organs and muscle store the feeling. Because the feelings are internalised it raises your vibration.
Exercise
Endorphins are released during exercise. So is adrenaline, serotonin and dopamine These work to boost mood and even act as natural pain-killers. I find exercise washes away stress and stimulates vitality. Cardio is more effective than anaerobic for this. So going for a run, walk or swim is better than weights. A run is an amazing hang-over cure. It is recommended to do about 30 min a day of cardio. I run 4-5 days a week. Weights are great for strength, sculpting the body and promoting a positive body image. I work a body part a day for around 40 min.
Diet
A good diet fuels the body and keeps it healthy. This in turn keeps the mind healthy and it is well known that there is a link between the gut and the brain. I have a Monday to Friday rule. I am strict on this rule and during the week cut out fat and sugar. Sugar has been linked to depression. I drink water and eat lots of fruit and vege. My main meal always has a protein which is usually a lean meat. I add a carbohydrate such as rice or pasta for energy. I also take supplements. When exercising I use a whey protein that contains BCAAs. Muscles need this for growth and recovery. I also take creatine to help in explosive movements and high intensity training. I take fish oils for brain functioning and B vitamins for mood. I use alpha lipoic as an antioxidant. I take vitamin C for my immune system and for its antioxidant effect.
On Saturdays I indulge. This is my reward day but I know my limits. By following this rule and combining it with exercise I lost 16 kg.
Wellbeing is a fantastic state. It inspires confidence and helps to put you at the top of your game. Meditation, exercise and diet are three keys in this process. Wellbeing takes time and discipline but you will feel great. Then you will be ready to take on the world –and more.
Relationship Killers
These are ways to kill a relationship:
1) Not communicating. The inability to talk about issues or discuss feelings leads to simmering resentment. Issues fester and people become more and more discontent. It is important to speak your truth in relationships and communicate exactly how you feel. If something hurts or annoys you then talk about it. If you are unhappy bring it up.
Issues will arise in any relationship no matter who you are with. You have to be prepared to work through them. Speaking your truth can initially be difficult but don’t be afraid. Talking about issues can heal a relationship. Communication means broaching issues maturely and calmly. Not shouting or arguing.
2) Too much time together. You revolve your life around your partner and do everything together. It’s called co-dependence and is so unattractive. You will begin to take each other for granted and the spark will die. It is integral to have your own life, friends and interests.
3) Too much time apart. Relationships are a balancing act. Just as too much time together is destructive so is too much time apart. A relationship is like a flower. It needs nurturing. If you are away a lot then plan to have special time together.
4) Neglecting friends. If you disappear when in a relationship your friends will resent you. There is an old saying that partners may come and go but friends are forever. Friends support you and make you laugh. Make time for your friends. And unless it’s a couple’s night don’t bring your partner.
5) Neediness. Don’t look for someone to fill your need for love or affection. Practice self-love before beginning a relationship. Be comfortable with who you are. Enjoy your own company. When you love yourself then a partner will actually love you even more.
6) Being a submissive male. Men need to be masculine. This means being assertive, decisive and strong in relationships. Being unable to stand up for yourself and always deferring to your partner is a turn-off. It’s boring and she will not respect you. There are times when you need to put yourself first and do what is important for you. You need to have clear boundaries and to assert them. Being masculine doesn’t mean sacrificing kindness and affection though. These qualities are just integrated.
theconsciousmale 